you must fight just to keep them alive

[kickdownthatwall]

[As much as Alena is Tired, it's pretty easy to see that everyone else is having an even rougher time. She can tough it out. It's fine. And Kohaku taught her how to make acceptable blini, so she might as well do this to honor her memory in some sort of way. At least, that's what Alena thinks.

...were those people really going to be killed if no one acted? Or is it all nonsense designed to get them to act?

...

Well, anyhow. She'll be sliding notes for people to come to the dining hall, where there is a truly massive stack of reasonably well made blini set out alongside a variety of spreads and fillings to roll up inside them. Eat your feelings, everyone...]

Comments

[kickdownthatwall]

[Alena will still be in the kitchen making blini to replace stuff that's taken. ...She might be going a little too hard on all of this, but it's probably not going to waste considering it'll reset tomorrow...]

Kitchen

[hootheart]

[Tiera waits for Isabella to leave, before stepping into the kitchen, her feet tapping against the ground. She could be quieter, but she's making sound on purpose so that Alena can hear her. She stops, when she sees the proper blini.]

Look good. [Not her usual type of treat, but she can recognize it's still potentially tasty.]

[kickdownthatwall]

I finally made it right, I think! Kohaku was teaching me after I was trying last week. I am glad I got it right now.

[...she kind of pushes one of the completed ones to Tiera in case she wants it.]

kitchen

[shellhawked]

[The kitchen is Hawke's first stop after picking up Chu-chu. Well- first stop and a half. Varric sneaks in first and steals a bowl with the help of Chu-chu's nimble little rat hands.

About ten minutes later Hawke comes in with a light dusting of snow in her hair and the same bowl packed to the brim with snow.]

Hey, Alena. I brought more dessert.

[kickdownthatwall]

Oh?

[she may or may not have noticed varric and chu-chu and just left them to it. dogs and rats stealing bowls is not really particularly scary.]

What did you make? More dessert is always welcome.

[goldendoll]

[ hatsune detaches from herself completely on the trip back. she seems to glance to isabella, once, eyes utterly despondent, and says nothing.

she doesn't say a word to anyone on the way back. she certainly doesn't stop in the lounge to see that her profile has been updated.

she returns to room A-5 alone, drops onto the bed that kohaku and dorothy had shared, and begins crying all over again, able to hold nothing back now. all rage and love and grief and utter hopelessness. the sorrowful broken doll, once again.

she won't be making an appearance downstairs for the rest of the day, at least of her own accord. she may open the door, though. ]

[kickdownthatwall]

[...given everything, Alena is pretty sure Doloris (she is still going to mentally call her Dolores because that's what she wants to be called she thinks???) is not coming down, she is going to bring the treats to her.

...except, uh. she checks her profile for likes and dislikes and looks at the strawberry jam filled blin...

... so she'll take that back and leave it for someone else and then come up to A-5 to knock on her door.]

Hello! I am not wishing to interrupt, but what savory fillings for treats are you liking?

[goldendoll]

[ she just feels numb by the time alena knocks. she opens the door a crack, holding a decently big pompompurin plush to her chest for dear life. ]

... Hi, Alena. Salmon or pepperoni or... something is fine. [ her voice is hoarse, barely more than a croak. ]

[thanoptical]

[Satsuki is worried. She had many tears to shed today, too, and while she never was close with her but... she feels a need to do something.

She thinks about it and makes some coffee. Slowly bringing it up the steps she knocks politely.]

Hey... it's Satsuki. I understand if you want to stay in but... I made you some coffee. If you don't want me to come in I'll just leave it outside and you can take it in!

[goldendoll]

[ at first it might almost seem as if she won't answer. eventually, though, hatsune opens the door a crack, looking... well, absolutely miserable, honestly. ]

Satsuki. Thanks. Um... no, no, you can come in. [ and she opens it wider, then just. retreats to the little nest she's made for herself on the canopy bed. ]

[tomestones]

[Dagr planned to take some time away from everyone and pull themselves together, then meet up for food to keep going. What they've ended up doing is sitting on the basketball court in the athletic center and screaming into their hands. So you know, totally normal things here! They scream until their throat hurts and they cry until they've run out of tears and when they're done with that they spitefully dunk a few baskets as if to prove they're still capable of even that much.

They only show up in the dining hall pretty late, eyes still red. They'll help Alena clean up after they've had some of the leftover blini, but for once they won't be seeking people out. They just... can't make themselves do it right now.

(Tomorrow, they tell themselves. They'll be fine tomorrow.)]

Dining Hall

[kickdownthatwall]

[...wow. there are probably a lot of blini left over... just because she went so hard.

...but anyhow. thinking about it. she should...]

...I think it is my turn to be asking if you are okay at this point.

athletic center

[shellhawked]

[Hawke is making a point to try to track down everyone and it's unsurprisingly easy to find where Dagr has gone. She hears the angry dunking before she enters the gym. Yeah...this tracks.

She doesn't say anything initially when she slips inside, just pulls off her jacket, ties her clean sweatshirt around her waist and holds up her hands. Her boots aren't exactly gym class appropriate but who's going to card her for it? No one, that's who.]

Pass it. I owe you one of these, remember?

athletic center (disassociation cw)

[rednails]

[Mariko's avoiding going back to her room, a reminder that she'll be all alone again. What Anthy's final message to her said is true for her, too; it was a safe place for her. Before, she'd felt careless about leaving Anthy on her own, that her roommate could do just fine without her. Now that the shoe's on the other foot, it makes her feel stupid.

She's come back from screaming her own throat raw in the field outside when she sees Dagr sitting on the basketball court. For a moment she stands there, watching them, remembering how they'd looked in the trial. That anger, so real and raw. She'd understood.

So why does it feel like this?

It's like her body moves on its own. She blinks and she's steps away from Dagr, standing there. Her voice sounds terrible when she eeks out a simple;]

... Dagr...

cw: self loathing, guilt, and parental abuse

[thanoptical]

Locked

[Satsuki practically slinks back to A-4. It felt so empty. All the original occupants were gone. Misty, then Rinne, then... Satsuki falls into the pull out bed, cradling the pillow. The tears she'd been holding back all trial came out. Twelve out of the twenty-one girls who came to Rosenblum Hall were dead. Just ghosts damned to haunt this stupid mansion.

She doesn't know why she goes looking through Kana's stuff but... maybe it's just to see her one last time. She finds something and sits down on the edge of Kana's bed. Her eyes are wet and soon the paper has tear stains along those words.]

...if you haunt me for blaming myself then maybe I won't be alone anymore, Kana! Did you ever think of that?!

[Because of course she does. It's her private burden. Every death just stacks upon the previous death. They all were Satsuki's fault in the end.]

I loved you and--you just decided to confess in a letter instead of saying it--we could have talked about that instead of Digimon Go or--stupid! You were so stupid!

Open

[It's a while before she leaves A-4. She shoves the letter and the family picture Kohaku gave back to her in her pocket. Her tears are dried and she's freshly showered so she's not in dead crush juice. She doesn't go to the dining room right away. She just goes to the lounge.

She stands in front of the fire before throwing Kana's letter to her and a picture of a happy family into the fire. Those old memories, of that day on the beach... the flames licked up and consumed them greedily. Those heartfelt words, gone.

Satsuki stared into the fire, unmoving, uncaring. She took a breath then in goes the picture of her mother.

She feels unseen eyes on her back as she sees the flames lick and consume the photograph. The heavy presence of a giant who, while supposed to be in Japan, was always with her.

Why didn't you do something?

The gruff, deep words of her father repeated in her mind as they had for the last three years. Proof that she was alive and oh so guilty. If he didn't forget why should Satsuki.

She eventually stumbles into the dining hall late, slumping into a chair. She doesn't speak. She's here but there's no advice, no misguided first aid kit. Just silence.]

lounge

[rednails]

[That feeling of unseen eyes on her back is more than the sting of her father's words. When Satsuki thinks to turn around and leave, Mariko is darkening the doorway. Hand braced against the frame, blocking her in and watching her.]

You...

[There's something slumbering in her tone, that teeters that knife's edge that Mariko walks. Which side of the coin is this conversation going to land on?]

[shellhawked]

[This is the first afterparty that doesn't have Hawke retreating to her room to hide away and collect herself before she can face the others. She's hurting and that hurt keeps getting deeper every time they have to do this but she can't sit in it this time. She has to do something...so she gives herself side quests.

First, bring Varric to get Chu-chu. It will make them both happy even if they're going to be sad later. Anthy said she had a letter too. She needs that too.

Second, everyone else. Hawke and Varric (and Chu-chu riding on the dog's head) will be doing their best to check in with everyone she can find. Be it shoving food at them, getting physical or just sitting and listening so they're not alone, Hawke and animal crew are here. Varric seems a little less enthusiastic than usual though, sniffing the air and looking around for people who's smells linger but he can't find anymore.

Third, as things wind down and get closer to lights out, she's tucking the animals away in her room, layers her red cloak over her leather jacket for warmth and treks down to the underground pool with a leftover slice of cake.

The seance set-up is still there, circle of seasonings and all. It didn't feel like there was a point in cleaning up at the time when it would all reset again. It hadn't felt like there was much of a point in a lot of things lately, not when it would all start again. She climbs down into the empty pool, cake in hand, and sits alone in the circle. This isn't an attempt at a solo seance. This is just a girl who wants to talk at her other friends for a little while and share dessert with dead people.]

...Hey, Mari. Hey, everyone else if you're here. Yes, even you, Misty. And hey... [She sighs and rakes a hand through her too long hair.] The witch, I guess? I know you had a name before. It must suck to be stuck as a title. [The Rosenblum Witch. The Champion of Kirkwall. Hah. Some champion she's turning out to be.] I'm probably just talking to dead air but...I miss you. Take care of Anthy, Kana, Dorothy and Kohaku for us. I...I'm not doing a great job on our side. But I have to try.

[She lays down on the blankets, staring up at the ceiling for a long time before reaching in and pulling out the second cell phone from her jacket pocket. On and off she's tried to unlock it this week, without success, and she might as well see if this one works.]

9-5-0-2

[sweetsynergy]

[The phone cycles for a moment, after a week of inactivity.]

[But unlocks.]

THE BOIS

[thanoptical]

[Satsuki is looking for someone and... she sees the duo in the hallway. She whistles softly.]

Varric--and you, too, Chu-chu--I've got something for you!

check in, a-5 ig

[goldendoll]

[ and hatsune—not doloris, that mask is cast aside for the moment, even as the its lace embodiment patterned with marigolds sits heavy in a drawer—does open the door after a beat, when hawke and varric come around.

she can't really manage faking even a weak smile, right now, so she just nods once in acknowledgement. ]

Hawke. [ she croaks that out, knowing she must look like a mess. she knows she should drink something for her throat, but she can't be bothered right now.

she doesn't have any idea what to say. ]

[emptynester]

[ Isabella, true to her... orders(????), bakes everyone a cake because like. What's the headmistress going to do, kill her for doing what she told her to? So if you want to have a public conversation with her, feel free to talk to her in the kitchen while she does that!

Later, though, rather than retiring to her office in the study, Isabella bundles up and takes a walk around the unlocked outdoor areas, if anyone would rather speak to her with more privacy. ]

outdoors

[goldendoll]

[ hatsune does, eventually, bundle up before making a straight shot down and outside via the stairs in the conservatory.

she isn't sure what she expects to see, but it isn't isabella. she approaches without a word, keeping her eyes low. she'll walk with her in silence for a moment, or at least attempt to.

either way: ]

... Whatever she's doing... it feels like it's starting to break, doesn't it?

[ she hardly expects a direct answer, especially on a question like that. it's just been feeling more and more apparent—at least, to her—even with the much more personal horrors that came with today. ]

outdoors

[shellhawked]

[Hawke hasn't so much been avoiding Isabella these past weeks so much as...okay yeah, she's been avoiding her. Sometimes when a woman with at least the illusion of power over you tells you not to trust her, you have to shove away the urge to be contrarian and just avoid her like the plague.

But she has Anthy's letter tucked away under her jacket next to her heart and Chu-chu snuggled into her collar. When the chips are down, you find allies where you can.]

...does she really have a fear of mothers?

[rednails]

[Mariko receives not one, but two parting letters. Before Burnbriar, she had no one, not a friend in the world; she'd always hoped to have someone write to her, thinking of her fondly. And now, now that she has something, it's torn from her hands. All that's left is a the echo of what she had with these girls, a pathetic little scrawl.

Her heels click, a steady rhythmic echo against the tunnel walls. Then faster, faster, until it's a hurried and frantic and she's run outside, through the stables, out onto the field. And then she screams, a raw, deep-in-her-chest thing that's torn out from her. Clutching the letters in one fist, she screams as long as she can in one breath.

And she collapses, pounding at the ground beneath her. Sobbing and beating at this stupid fucking place. What good is it? What good is any of it? It's a god-awful thing to care.

Mariko puts it off as long as she can before she goes back to her empty room. Puttering around in the kitchen, pretending not to think about what isn't waiting for her up there. She can't face it. Just hovers in the hall, feeling a bit like the ghost she said she'd never become.

What utter fucking bullshit.]

the hall

[shellhawked]

[Hawke's quest list to pester everyone can't be completed without Mariko. Considering everything she'd been through today...she shouldn't be alone, even if it's just for a little while.]

Hi, Mariko.

[Leaning against the wall next to B-2, with a fresh cup of black coffee in one hand and a bottle of her own red nail polish in the other, is Hawke.]